! SF Make Money Online

Editor’s Foreword

I’m glad he decided to keep this one clean. Though, with recent news, it is certainly a timely topic.

Make Money Online

Her name was Hercules ****. Sure, it sounded like a stage name. So what? Her name was Hercules **** and tonight she would give birth to her first polar bear. That’s all you need to know.

There was something very special about Hercules ****–for one, she was not technically alive. She had been the subject of so many prosthetic enhancements, gaggles of slavering Supreme Court Judges sat around in their designer-****-shaped mansions most evenings debating whether she was still technically human or whether the mechanoid element of her stage persona had taken over the circuit board of her infamy.

Hercules **** was the richest ****** in Megaverse Corporation. It was official. Well, she made everyone in her entourage spread the word virally in the Love Hotels of Megaverse Subjugation Union. Each member of the hotel would have a little piece of Hercules in them when they left these super-clean compartments of supra-marital bliss. It was the law. Like having a passport used to be law to pass through separate landmasses on our old world. You pass through one of those establishments, you became a walking DNAdvertisement for Hercules **** and her randy bunch of overlords from seven hells south of Guildfort, U.S.H. You actually smelled just like the places, it was so distinctive an aroma, no one could mistake you for some low-class L.H.er–you were Top Class. And you had paid Top Space Dolla for the privilege.

Lately, the **** industry had become this uber-lubed over-pixel-shaded mechanical grinding press of ******* subversion. What was once unthinkable is now daily dross, something you turn off after a few minutes. There’s no audience participation in the perfection of machine lust, just an appreciation of the rhythm and the build standard–you end up talking about tolerances and heat conveyance and there’s nothing left. It just lost its sheen somewhere in the last hundred years or so. Mankind was bored again.

And so was Hercules ****.

In her hundred plus years of online broadcast throughout the ****** galaxy of ***, Hercules **** had done *** every which way with every living biomorph mankind could lift out from under an alien rock. But remember, this is in a time when ‘bestiality’ had already been fully explored so, there was no rule breaking here. Taboos themselves had become a thing of the past. Now, everything went and the punter, as was always the case, was a tough one to please. He wanted his babes to be ****** in the *** twice before being eviscerated on the **** machine of *****. Pieces of baby meat were ******* in the ***-pulper and then eaten by packs of **** who became ********* at the sight of living ******** **** on the faces of ***...

Anyway, you get the drift–it was a very complex situation, corporate entertainment.

Even Vampires get bored with their eternal lot. Oh, didn’t I say? Hercules **** was a vampire. Yeah, one of the walking undead. Forever burdened to roam the near-mortal plane between immortal worlds, at the beck and call of the human galaxy. Such a life was her chore. She even got sick of blood–flaying her hapless love partners alive while making love to them, never achieving the closeness she hoped the extra-nakedness would provide.  It only provided nothing more than an icky mess for some sanitation droid to mop up after.

In the end, she had opted for blood abstinence. 

I’ve tried to keep this a clean account of the facts of the onscreen persona called Hercules **** for all the kiddies in kindergartens having this read to them by their form tutors but the truth must be told, Hercules **** has committed the ultimate sin in these progressive times. She has resurrected animal lust.

They all thought it was dead. Like her cold, blue flesh, they thought the interest in Nature Programming had died with the mobile phone in the early 21st. But in her wisdom, and her lust for Top Space Dolla she had brought the old MuskLust (as it became known) back into public favour... in a very odd and profitable format. The live animal birth.

Gah, they can do anything these days, just about. So rigging up some womb in a live android-cum-vampire sleaze bucket like Hercules **** that wouldn’t instantly reject an implanted animal fetus and allow her to be filmed over the entire 24 hour process so that, at midnight, all over the ****** galaxy of *** a brand new baby animal would be born, live in your living room in holo-4D.

Well, hell, she made a packet. And best news of all, she’d got her blood appetite back. So that’s all great. You can have fun and make money online. But there’s only so far any vampire girl worth her weight in Molybdenum can take her money-making imagination...

Next week, Hercules **** will give birth to the first live great-white shark, and it would never make her rich enough. See you then ****oes.


About the Author

Mike Philbin is the man behind the surrealist writing entity Hertzan Chimera. Mike is the editor of the Chimeraworld anthology (now in its fifth year). In 2008, Silverthought Press of New York will release his two new novels Bukkakeworld and Planet of the Owls.


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Color image created by Dan C. Rinnert.

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