Werewolf for Hire
First published online on 2006 October 31.
It was after sunset and the unemployment office was still open.
A tall young man with long brown hair walked in. He went up to
an empty window where on the other side an unemployment clerk
stood, looking bored. The clerk looked up when he heard the footsteps
stop and smiled automatically.
How may I help you?
I need a job, the young man said.
Well, thats what were here for. Your qualifications?
Well... Im five-hundred years old. I like to howl at the full
moon, eat little childrentheyre sweeter-tasting than adultsdance
in graveyards, and, in general... be the werewolf I am!
Yeah-right! Sir, your teeth look a little sharp. I really think
you need to see a dentist.
Oh, for those good old days! Thats when I used to go to parties
at the mausoleum, dance with other werewolves and she-ghouls,
and have a howling good time.
Sir, you seem to be getting hairy. I think you need a shave.
The young man sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
I really need a job. Its hard to be scary these days. It used
to be that I would just howl, and people would get the shivers.
But nowadays if I howl all I ever get is an old shoe thrown at
Sir, youre getting a tailI think.
Im a has-been, a
I do believe I see a full moon rising, the clerk broke in with
a frown etched on his face, and by my watch its also time to
close. Let me get another appointment for you.
The loup-garou, whose shape seemed to be changing, and long silky
hair sprouting over his face and body, stared out a nearby window.
The sky had deepen into shadows of the night, an unrelenting shade
of black. The only light that bathed the scene came from the round
yellow moon that had risen high in the sky. The shape shifters
face longitudinally metamorphosed into a wolfish snout. He turned
back to the clerk writing on an appointment card and who seem
unaware of what was transpiring.
Sir, I think its time for you to leave, but heres an appointment
time for you to come
* * *
The unemployment clerk patted his bulging belly and picked his
teeth with a toothpick. He completely changed into a large black
wolf that loped away, leaving the building. The doors closed shut
behind him, locking securely for the night.
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